Interview with porn star and novelist Mana Sakura

Joshi Spa! recently interviewed the adult video performer Mana Sakura as she reaches a milestone.

In addition to being a porn star, Mana Sakura is a novelist, most famously writing stories based in her experiences in the industry. Her latest novel, Child Substitute, came out in February and is about pregnancy and childbirth. It marks a decade since her literary debut.

Though her porn output has heavily decreased (even if she does have a new SOD Star release out later this month), the 33-year-old Sakura has not officially retired, and has now been a firm part of the industry for an incredible 15 years.

We’ve translated and edited some highlights from the long, two-part interview.

Q. Why did you choose to write a novel about pregnancy and childbirth?

Sakura: They weren’t themes I actively wanted to write about at first. Readers tends to read novels by relating to the character, so I thought it better to create a character as far removed from myself as possible to make the work more accessible to readers.

Q. Lots of people you know are having babies recently, including your manager who you’ve worked with for many years.

Sakura: That’s right. Entering my thirties, many close friends and my manager gave birth one after another, and some were even considering freezing their eggs. This made me realize that pregnancy is an unavoidable topic for women living their lives.

Speaking from my personal experience, working in the adult film industry, the idea of ​​giving birth felt somewhat unrealistic. Just imagining the words that might be directed at me after giving birth would diminish my resolve.

When dealing with the themes of pregnancy and childbirth, the concept of “motherhood” was inseparable. My mother gave birth to me by C-section, and apparently, the anesthesia wore off during the surgery, and she saw the skin on her stomach stretching out. Every time I saw the scar on my mother’s stomach, I thought, “What a beautiful scar.” It’s proof that I came into this world; a meaningful scar.

Q. Your mother has appeared on TV with you and approves of your AV work. You seem to have a close relationship.

Sakura: I’m relieved to hear that you think that, but I often think that is must be hard for her. I myself haven’t always been the daughter my mother wanted me to be, and I’ve lived with a lingering sense of guilt. However, as I’ve gotten older, the relationship is gradually reversing; I’m no longer the one being cared for, but the one doing the caring.

Q. In your new novel, the protagonist raises her dog as if it were her own child. These days, there are more dogs and cats than children.

Sakura: I’ve also been living with a dog for the past few years, and I care for it with deep affection, so I feel that in terms of raising, the essence is the same as raising a child.

However, it also seems to me that women who have experienced childbirth have a kind of union that only they can join. It’s like an invisible, strong solidarity bound together by the shared experiences of the physical pain and suffering unique to childbirth, and the postpartum physical changes they share.

Q. While writing your latest novel, did your views on pregnancy and childbirth change?

Sakura: While writing this novel, I had several opportunities to hear detailed stories from women who had experienced childbirth. My own fundamental views haven’t changed, but the more specific stories I heard, and the older I get, the more strongly I felt that pregnancy and childbirth are not topics that can be easily discussed.

As for me, I’m not so keen on having children right now. But that doesn’t mean I’ve decided never to have kids. I feel like I get asked why I don’t have children. I have to come up with words that will satisfy the other person each time. I think the mindset behind the question is similar to the repeated questions about why I appeared in porn.

It is a very difficult question, but if I were 18 and thinking about things as much as I do now, I might not have entered the AV industry. Of course, I hope that people who are about to enter the industry are fully aware of all the pros and cons, and try not to get hurt. I certainly don’t want to irresponsibly recommend AV work.

However, if my current overthinking self were to stand at that starting line again and be forced to make a decision, I think I would freeze up and choose not to do it.

I feel like there are several times in life when you need the strength to just jump in, like in jump rope. In my case, I jumped into the AV industry, but now I feel that I missed the right timing to truly let go and jump into childbirth.

Q. It’s been 10 years since you started your writing career. It seems your approach to writing has changed considerably.

Sakura: In the past, it wasn’t uncommon for me to cut out large amounts of text or make major revisions as soon as I finished writing. But this time, while the theme was heavy, the writing process was enjoyable.

Q. Do you have a routine for writing?

Sakura: To manage my mental state, I have a “god spot” in my workspace where I’ve gathered only my favorite gods. I bought a stand for the amulets online, and I display notes I wrote to myself saying “Write!” and a lovely email I received from my editor saying “You’re a genius!” During the tough times before deadlines, I look at them to somehow motivate myself.

Q. How is your writing related to your AV work?

Sakura: I’m inevitably confronted with the question of what it means to be a woman.

As an adult film performer, because I’m in a position where I sell my femininity as a commodity. Whenever I try to talk about the struggles unique to women outside of adult films, I inevitably get comments about how I only have a job because of male desire. Each time, I’m painfully reminded of my contradictory position.

However, I feel that the process of grappling with these conflicts and re-examining my own emotions inevitably leads to writing, and right now, I’m struggling with both my adult film and novel writing work, yet at the same time, I’m finding solace in them. Self-reflection is an absolutely essential process for me to live. That’s why I feel certain I’ll continue writing in the future.