Noisy sex in Japan leads to notes from angry neighbors

Many moons ago, we had the misfortune to live in a “gaijin house” — one of those sordid guest houses that cater specifically to foreign residents of Tokyo. It wasn’t as bad as some of the horror stories we have heard about such places, but the walls were decidedly thin.

One weekend morning, we woke to hear sounds from across the hall (through at least two doors/walls). Our young American neighbor was clearly balls deep in his Sunday breakfast. We could hear his partner (at least, the one he had snagged that week, since he always had several on the go) groaning how “kimochi ii” (good) it felt.

Another time, we were plodding up the stairs one afternoon to use the washing machine on the top floor. And then we heard the distinct sound of flesh slapping against flesh and the grunt-groan of a Japanese girl. That was the French guy on the third floor enjoying some afternoon sex. We were forced to return to the rather more prosaic task of our laundry.

A British guy on another floor had such loud sex with his Korean girlfriend (who would groan out in loud Japanese porn phrases) that a neighboring tenant called the guest house operators, who then called him during the deed to tell him to pipe down.

Knowing all of the above, when we brought a date back to our little pad in the guest house, we would be very conscious of our neighbors, prompting us to literally cover the girl’s mouth if she got too loud.

All this preamble is a long way of saying, as we have said before, that sex can be a noisy affair in Japan, which is not helped by the thin walls, doors, and windows.

For some neighbors, this may be a voyeuristic turn-on or just something amusing. For others, it’s a nuisance and they will leave a note in public informing you of the fact (and presumably, hoping to shame you into silence).

As these recently spotted images on social media demonstrate.

This rather sloppily written missive says (roughly translated): “The sound of your girlfriend’s (?) moaning and your balls slapping is very annoying, so please at least close the window when you have sex.”

This one says: “Don’t play adult games late at night. The woman’s pants are audible next door. Turn it down!”

This long and furious note says that they took a video outside someone’s home recording their loud groans during sex on Friday night. It specifies the types of groans too (“Ah! Ooh! Yaa!”).

This note to the lucky occupant(s) of room 1004 somewhat passive-aggressively tells them that the noises (verbal and otherwise) of their sex acts are causing a “great disturbance” to the neighbors. “Please stop these acts that cause a nuisance to other residents.” Is it a call for abstinence or simply quieter sex?

To all these roisterous and sexually active people, we have just two words of advice: love hotels. They’re a godsend in these situations.