Interview with husband of Japanese sex worker

Let’s be honest, when we go to a school reunion, we’re often looking for that old flame and hoping to rekindle that past romance.

That’s what Saitama resident Hiroya Togashi (a pseudonym, 29) did and found himself back together with Sumire (a pseudonym, 28), his girlfriend from their junior high school days. They reconnected at a reunion four years ago and then married two years later. But, reports an article in Gendai Media, their relationship came with some complicated circumstances.

“My wife works in the sex industry,” Hiroya explains.

Sumire was working in the sex industry to pay off debts. Hiroya was aware of this but told her, “Let’s get married once you’ve paid off your debts.” And so they continued their relationship with marriage as the ultimate goal.

“She mostly worked daytime shifts on weekdays and had two days off a week, much like a typical office worker. Finding time for dates wasn’t an issue. We spent a lot of time at my place, where I lived alone. Since she started working in that industry, she had stopped going to crowded places to avoid being recognized,” Hiroya says.

When they traveled, they used his car, and if they stayed overnight, they would choose a detached guesthouse or cottage. An unspoken rule was that Hiroya would handle all interactions with staff, whether at an inn or shop, while Sumire would offer only the bare minimum of polite greetings.

“She was incredibly, almost unnervingly, cautious. It wasn’t just a fear of being recognized. It was the weight of knowing she held a job that she couldn’t tell anyone about.”

Hiroya was worried about Sumire’s guilt and state of mind, and suggested they get married right away, without waiting for her to finish paying off her debts. Apparently moved by his sincerity, Sumire accepted.

At her request, the wedding was a private ceremony with just the two of them. “It was also a declaration of our resolve: no matter what happens from here on out, we’ll face it and overcome it together!”

They introduced each other to their respective families only through a simple, casual meal. They informed their friends by sharing a wedding photo in which Sumire’s face was partially obscured.

“Perhaps it’s just a sign of the times. No one asked me for details, no one tried to pry. Some friends have asked to see our newlywed home, but I told them we’re waiting to move into a larger place.”

The couple currently lives in the apartment where Hiroya resided before they met.

“We did consider moving to a place better suited for a family, but we decided that an apartment designed for single occupants is actually better. There’s less pressure to socialize with neighbors, it offers more privacy, and it saves on rent.”

Since they began living together, Hiroya has witnessed firsthand the high level of professionalism Sumire brings to her work in the sex industry.

“She finds that the body soap provided by her workplace irritates her skin, so she brings her own, which is a gentler, more moisturizing product. She’s also diligent about wearing gloves whenever she does chores involving water, in order to protect her hands. To keep her work schedule consistent, she takes the pill to manage her menstrual cycle, and she’s always meticulous about grooming.”

At her workplace, the benefits package covers the full cost of medical expenses, including STI screenings and dental care.

“For safety, she even changes up her commute route from time to time. While we don’t discuss the specific details of her work, I do know that she keeps something like a client log. I have a great deal of respect for her.”

Because her profession is physically demanding, Sumire is very careful about managing her health. Hiroya, in turn, is mindful of this, and they keep their intimate life together moderate. “We’ve set Friday or Saturday night for intimacy. On Sundays, we make sure to go to bed early to prepare for the week ahead.”

But doesn’t the image of Sumire “working” with other men ever cross his mind?

“It would be a lie to say it never crosses my mind at all. But when she’s with me, it’s not work. It’s genuine communication. And since the payment involved is love and trust rather than money, I don’t equate the two. Think of it this way: if my wife were a chef preparing elaborate, fancy dishes at a restaurant, that’s a completely different thing from the meals she cooks for our home. There’s a world of difference between something prepared for the general public and something created solely for me. Besides, at her workplace, she has to follow a service manual. But at home, that’s obviously not the case. Everything she does for me is something she’s come up with herself, just for us.”

Has he ever visited the place where Sumire works?

“No. And I have no desire to, either. After all, a husband wouldn’t just drop by his wife’s workplace for no reason, would he?”

Thanks to Hiroya’s support, Sumire’s debt will be paid off sooner than originally planned.

“Once it’s fully paid off, my wife is going to quit her job. After that, we’ll move. After things have settled down, we’d like to have children. She has an exceptionally strong devotion to family.”

The Gendai Media article ends by claiming it was clear that Hiroya is a “very happy man,” and that the “deep bond” between the couple is “unmistakable.”