Interview with a foreign bull for cuckolding couples in Japan

Please introduce yourself.

I’m Tony. I’m a 42-year-old African-American living in Osaka for about 11 years. I got married to a school principle three years ago and we have been happily married. Although adapting to married life and Japanese work culture has been a bit stressful, the years have been positive overall and I enjoy living here. In 2020, during a very honest conversation with my wife, she confessed that she had no sexual desire and felt that my cock was “too big.” (Side note: The myth and legend of the BBC has haunted me for most of my sexual maturity. In America, a 18 centimeter cock hardly falls into the BBC category.)

I felt blindsided by this confession since, prior to proposing, I told her how important sex was to me and was not considering marriage because we don’t share many common interests. I knew that she was not very sexually experienced and felt that we could grow together by exploring her sexual desires.

I introduced her to kinbaku (shibari, Japanese rope bondage), something I had been studying since the early 2000s, and started using very slow, delicate techniques during our limited sexual encounters. In the end, she told me that it was “not for her” and she had no interest in exploring that part of our marriage. To her credit, she acknowledged hearing stories about Black men wanting “Olympic Level” sex and her foreign coworkers told her that all men look at marriage as “free sex.” The confession made me reflect on why I got married here. But it wasn’t enough for me to consider getting a divorce. Likewise, my wife mentioned that if I were to have an affair, she doesn’t want to know about it and, should she find out, she will be upset but not seek a divorce.

How did you get into doing what you do?

After the pandemic, I was excited to get back into the kink scene in order to have a creative space to let off sexual tension. I had seen tweets for a new bar that had just opened up and decided to go there on a weekday after work. Once there, the owner and I struck up a conversation about kink in Japan and what I thought about the underground in my fairly basic Japanese. After a while, he asked me why I came to the bar and I shared how I found the place on Twitter (X). I was then told that the place was not a kink bar so much as a hap bar (happening bar, also known as a couple kissa — a type of place for swinging) with extra equipment. Until that moment, I had never heard of a the term but was quickly brought up to speed.

The owner then called a couple that visits the bar frequently enough that he had their personal number. He informed them that there was a BBC at the bar for the first time and asked if they would visiting the shop this evening. An hour later, they arrived and we made small talk. About 30 minutes after that, I was having sex with a Filipino woman covered in tattoos while her cuck watched, masturbating completely naked.

As a bull, what do you offer couples that other guys don’t or can’t?

The main thing I offer is the opportunity to fulfill a sexual fantasy that doesn’t carry the worry that comes with most sexual adventures. When most couples share how they started this lifestyle (some speak English and others use a translator app), they talk about how quality and quantity usually vary.

Finding men online is always a gamble, hap bar regulars tend to have weak performance or predictable approaches to sex, and some couples are looking for something consistent but not intrusive for their relationship. A couple told me about a Jamaican college student who they played with for about three months. Something happened with his student visa and he asked them to sponsor his visa to stay. It ruined the entire dynamic and they stopped contacting him for play sessions.

I always have my STD tests up to date (taken five times a year) and I know just enough Japanese to communicate not to rely too heavily on nonverbal communication during the session. Not every couple is looking for hardcore piston sex and not every couple wants to be romanced. Understanding the moment is critical and I haven’t had any complaints yet about my performance.

What’s exciting about it? Why do you do it?

What’s exciting is the anticipation of having a couple contact me or having a session that was not planned. Since I don’t know when or where I will be asked to meet someone, I have to keep myself in shape and aware of my diet. I have to refrain from masturbating and practice edging to exercise the muscles that keep me strong in bed. I have a healthy diet and exercise regiment that helps me maintain an athletic shape without useless mass. Since my wife and I don’t have sex, this not only fulfills a desire to have sex but also allows me to be appreciated for all the years I spent becoming a good lover. Now that I have decided to share some of my experiences through an amateur adult content site, I also get to explore my creativity in writing, filming, and the like. It all gives shape to being a fantasy that has been brought to life.

What’s your best experience?

I went to a hap bar near Kyoto once and the ratio of men to women was about 7:1. Since the odds were clearly not in my favor, I figured I’d just call it a night and go back to Osaka. Shortly before leaving, a man came in with two women who were total opposites. One was an innocent-looking woman who was kind and polite, sticking very close to the man she came with. The other was stunning and very confident, browsing over the men and women in the bar as if she were shopping for an accessory.

As a rule, I made conversation with the man first to better understand the dynamic of the group and gave little attention to the women, as they would be swarmed by the anxious guys. The man talked to me in English for about 30 minutes, sharing with me that they were polyamorous, which is rare in Japan. Since he was about 15 years older than the women, he was having performance issues and the confident woman had a very high sex drive.

Soon after, the confident woman invited me to play while the other two watched. I had never experienced a woman with so much passion and desire in life, made even more shocking because she was Japanese. We were in sync so well, we used every space in the room as if we were long-lost lovers reuniting. She gave a play-by-play description in Japanese to the others watching, being interrupted by her climax or me using her mouth. It was such a thrill that I was practically begging to have another session. Unfortunately, we were not allowed to exchange contact information (house rules prohibited it) and there was little I could do to secure a later play session. They mentioned other places where they attend play parties or a play vacation, all of which were way out of my league (both financially and socially). To this day, I wonder what they are up to and hope that I get another opportunity to experience that dynamic again.

Are there any risks?

The risks involved are plentiful, the biggest one seems to be having your identity protected. The couples that I have had the pleasure of servicing all have the same modus operandi. They’ve worked very hard to build a career and don’t want to ruin their regular vanilla life by having it exposed. There is also the risk that one person is more enthusiastic about the session than the other. There was an incident when I first started being a bull, where the husband become a bit overly aggressive with instructions on how to touch his wife. This continued to the point where the couple had a shouting match while I had the wife bent over the back of a couch. To this day, I’m not sure what the real issue was but think it might have been part of their kink.

What advice would you have for foreign guys who want to be a bull for cuckolding couples?

My advice is know the sex culture in Japan before posting anywhere about what you are looking for. I see far too many posts on Reddit, FetLife, and such that all read the same: “I’m coming to Japan for [number of days/date and departure]. I’m looking for [women or couples] for some fun.”

It’s not that Japanese women have no interest in sex or that they aren’t interested in foreign men. Know the type of Japanese woman you would like to have sex with, then change your mindset to “Why should I give her a good time in bed?” Once you look at yourself as the “goal,” your approach changes from “hunting” to “networking.” You don’t get frustrated with rejection or when you don’t find a woman/couple immediately.

After that, you should know your abilities before you offer to meet up. If you aren’t sure you can stay hard, practice using exercises that strengthen those muscles. Red Bull or any of those “get hard” drinks may give you wings but if you don’t know how to fly long distances, it’s pointless.

In regards to being a bull, understand you are an accessory to someone’s relationship. You are not the star and you are not the focus. Lastly, as far as making content, Japan has very strict laws about what you can post and where you can post it. Censorship, editing, what you do in the videos, and where you shoot the video can all play a part in having a great collection to share or a very bad day.

Where can people find you online?

People can find me on X @tonyhungwell or they can view my FetLife profile under the name Boundtongue.