Following on from Shit Asian Girls Say, we now have Shit Japanese Say to Gaijin!
Our gaijin friends tell us this is quite true-to-life, though there are several parts that are specifically for Americans and black Americans. We should also add that for many Europeans, the “shit” includes being automatically assumed to be an English-speaker!
For those few readers among you who do not watch Japanese television avidly, the “Bob” at the beginning is a reference to Bobby Ologun, a token black tarento in the “entertainment” world.
What will sex be like in the future? What will masturbation be like?
We can already hook up masturbators to computers via USB and simulate screwing porn stars. Hell, we can even have sex with onaholes designed to feel like a famous girl’s pussy.
Trust the Japanese to come up with this one, though, which combines technology, anime and a futuristic outlook. 3D Custom Girl USB Onacon is an adult computer game where you can personalize your own anime girl with thousands of different parts.
Then comes the really fun bit! Add the onahole vagina to simulate having sex with your new companion!
As you would expect, this is a visual, physical and audio experience, with a wealth of sexy sound and voice effects in the game has. Plus, check out the “ejaculation button” on the side of the masturbator. It connects by USB to your computer so you can interact with your customized character in a sexual way. And by pressing the ejaculation button you can have synchronized orgasms! Now that doesn’t happen in real life much!
The Japanese have always been kinky.
But did you know there was also a sex shop in old Tokyo? Yotsumeya was in the Ryogoku area of Edo (the old name for Tokyo), a bustling center and not too far from the famous red light district, Yoshiwara. It first opened in 1626, making it the oldest adult goods shop in Japan, though sadly it closed in the Meiji period (late nineteenth century) when Japan was trying to “modernize” (and did such foolish things as make prostitution illegal).
Sadly, no real visual record of Yotsumeya and its amazing wares exists, though its name survives in Rakugo performances even today.
Many of the things sold at Yotsumeya were pretty expensive, including the Azumagata Ningyou sex doll (we’ll blog about that another day!), meaning that the ordinary citizens of the city made do with home-made remedies. One such was to grow a cucumber (kyuri) until it was much bigger than normal, carve out a hole and then get plugging with your cock!
We love uncovering and sharing with the world the unsung heroines of Japanese ladies!
We often blog about sexy idols but there are plenty of very, very beautiful regular Japanese actresses as well. They don’t do gravure style bikini shoots but they still often do nude shoots or very sexy photos. In Japan this isn’t seen as degrading or damaging to your acting career, and typically the shoots will be collaborations with famous photographers.
Naoko Watanabe (渡辺奈緒子), born in 1984, is a very attractive actress who, though not a star, has been in several high profile releases, including western films set in Japan, like Silk. In the latter, she also showed that she is one of those very few Japanese actresses (e.g. Shinobu Terajima, Rinko Kikuchi, Yuriko Yoshitaka) willing to take their clothes off and do nude scenes.
She also did a nude scene in the recent gangster film, Outrage. In fact, Naoko even starred in an appropriately titled nude, about an innocent girl being drawn into the Japanese porn industry, based on the career of JAV star Mihiro.
Balls. Us guys all have them. Sometimes they just get in the way. Other times the girls give them nice attention.
Girls who play with balls are sexy enough, we know. But what about balls themselves? Can they be sexy? Well, they can if they open up and include a nice surprise inside.
To add to the gym training-themed sex toys we’ve been experiencing recently, now comes the Excite Athlete Sex Balls, a set of “sports balls” — baseball, golf, soccer — that each contain a unique fiendish masturbation sleeve.
Original, innocent to the eye and great for storage, this was a cute gift set to me from Megumi since she knows what a sports fan I am (and fan of sporty girls too!).
At Waseda University they’ve made available another side to traditional Japanese art in the “Fart War Scroll Picture” (屁合戦絵巻 or He-gassen-emaki), a series of images telling the epic tale of breaking wind competitively in ancient Tokyo.
Japanese humor can sometimes be very slapstick and we have trouble relating it to our western chums. Lavatorial jokes are pretty universal, though, and it seems that Edo era Japanese had a liking for this kind of comedy, if this scroll is anything to go by.
Beyond this one that Waseda has made available online, there are more examples around (search Google Image!) and it seems to be a mini subgenre, attracting the likes of Kuniyoshi Utagawa and other famous names!
It’s not the first time that a fart war scroll has popped up, at least one other item selling at Christie’s in London in 1992. Nor should it surprise us that famous ukiyoe print artists were doing this kind of “lower” art, since we already know they liked making erotic shunga prints!
[Hat tip to Naruhodo blog]
A doujou or dojo is a training place for ancient Japanese martial arts. A sort of Japanese gym. But our cocks need training as well, it seems!
We’ve just been sent these two Karikubi Dojo ring cups. While most masturbator sleeves end at one end in a sort of chamber filled with nubs and stimulators. These Karikubi can be penetrated right through, plus held on either end for better, faster action.
The “karikubi” of the name refers to the corona base of the glans penis. Since you can hold the handles you also have complete control on the pressure, angle and speed — kind of like a personal trainer! As Kanojo Toys put it, “pour in some lube and slide the ring on, and you will be soon enjoying all the “training” that the inner nubs and rungs can provide…” It’s also a set of two so you get double the fun. If you’re gay you could even have a simultaneously session with your partner!
We’re not quite sure what training you get (there are no muscles in the penis, right?), other than getting a better orgasm. But hell we are sure this is one gym we’d like to attend at least once or twice a day!
We’ve been watching a bunch of cheap soft core movies. Though Japanese porn is great, of course, there is also a lot of cheaply made but imaginative erotica around, such as this, Horny House of Horror (aka Fashion Hell). Sure, there is no penetration on display and the sex is less graphic, but there’s still plenty of flair!
Starring three porn regulars, Mint Suzuki, Asami, and Saori Hara, the “plot” revolves around a new fuzoku sex club visited one night by a trio of naive young guys. They get far more than they bargained for as the club is a den of pain and horror (yep, hence the title).
The three get their cocks chopped off or, in the case of one unfortunate guy, bitten off by the legendary vagina dentata, or Freud’s famous vagina with teeth! He’ll think twice again before asking a voluptuous porn star to ride on top!
This got us thinking about similar movies. Vagina dentata motifs are quite common in Japan. A previous “masterpiece” is Sexual Parasite: Killer Pussy or Tokyo Gore Police, plus don’t forget the anime Wicked City!
More sad news, guys.
Now the goddess has announced she is pregnant again with a new child!
Still the thought that someone is having a poke inside Yuki sans condom is a pleasant image indeed. We just wish it was us!
It seems that unusual vibrators that look like character or mascot toys are all the rage in Japan these days. After introducing the Lovely Loveman earlier this week, now we find this new ToysBoys waterproof vibe.
It is based on the Toys-kun mascot character for Toys Heart, one of Japan’s biggest adult toy companies, to celebrate some sort of anniversary.
You can pop it on your shelf or bath and everyone will just think it’s another wacky Japanese toy. But actually, press the button underneath and it will start buzzing like crazy. The arms, and bulbous head, make for a very unique vibrator, and whole new sensations created by maneuvering the special shaped legs.
It’s no secret that Japan loves mascots. Everywhere you turn there’s some sort of colorful official character promoting an organization of some sort. The Japanese also like sex so it’s no surprise that this kinky world will sometimes merge with the innocent one!
Some have even been prone to chikan-style groping or almost near rape!
Presented by Tokyo Kinky